onetinleg.com

A Rob Hunter Reader

A Rob Hunter Reader

Fleeting fame and the half-life of linoleum.

What happens to a Sci-Fi or Fantasy story after it has been published—the remainder pile, a sporadic reprint, oblivion? Typically the afterlife of a tale consists of gathering dust until the writer’s heirs and assigns shred it for packing nick-knacks and other writerly impedimenta. And what of the loves, lives, hopes and aspirations of its citizens? Must they float forever in a shimmering noösphere playing whist and watching the flights of eidolons? Boring. Hence onetinleg.com. To misquote Walt Kelly’s Pogo: “We have seen the future and it’s not yet...” The call, dear reader, is yours. The gentlefolk listed below—who have shown the rare taste and superior judgment to purchase my work—thank you for your support.

The Missingest Man in America was first published in the January 2013 Left Hand of the Father.

Two of Swords was first published in the April 2012 Quantum Muse.

Saint Velcro and the Swan was first published in the December 2011 Nautilus Engine, Ron Warren editor.

Mark Twain in Milan was first published as serial installments in Bewildering Stories—Don Webb, managing editor, Bill Bowler, coordinating editor.

The Beewolf was first published in Kaleidotrope, Fred Coppersmith, editor.

The Diplodocus Effect was first published online in Resident Aliens, Lyn Perry, editor.

The Tirewoman Gabriel was first published online in Necrology Shorts, John Ferguson, editor.

Cherokee Purple was first published online in Bewildering Stories December 2009, Bill Bowler, coordinating editor.

The Moose in the Noösphere was first published in the November 2009 Nautilus Engine, Ron Warren editor.

The Last Teddy Bear was first published in the July 2009 Noctober—dark speculative fiction with every new moon. Edited by Rebecca Weybright.

Magnetic Betty was first published in the February 2009 issue of Nautilus Engine, Ron Warren editor (buy the book)

The Francher was first published in the March 2009 issue of Aphelion, McCamy Taylor fiction editor

The Year They Invented Frozen Lemonade was first published in the January 2008 issue of The Harrow: Original Works of Fantasy and Horror, Michael Colangelo fiction editor

The Missingest Man in America is an excerpt from Midwife in the Tire Swing, a novel in progress.

Scope Virgin was first published in the November/December 2007 Written Word Online Magazine, Ace Masters, editor

McMuckle Makes a Minyan was first published in the December 2007 Ranfurly Review, Colin Galbraith, editor

Platterland was first published in On the Premises, the November 2007 issue, Tarl Roger Kudrick, editor

Daphne Longhandle’s Last Flight was first published in The Aputamkon Review II, Les Simon, editor

The Runaway Bungalow was first published as a selection in SpecFicWorld’s Featured Fiction, Doyle Eldon Wilmoth, Jr., editor

The Song of the Rice Barge Coolie was first published in Aeon Speculative Fiction Eleven, Marti McKenna, editor

E Pluribus Human was first published in Coyote Wild, the Summer 2007 issue, Lori A. Basiewicz, editor

Dead Man in the Yard was first published in Nanobison, Summer 2007: the “Dimensions of Love” issue.

A Pass on the Tabouli was first published in the Hiss Quarterly, Spring 2006: the “Future Imperfect” issue.

Boys’ Night Out was first published in the Summer, 2005 On Spec—The Canadian Magazine of the Fantastic.

I Want to Share Your Wheat was first published in the September/October 2002 issue of Demensions—Doorways to Science Fiction and Fantasy where it was voted 2002 Story of the Year. An e-zine, Demensions went silent in 2003. It will be missed.

The Ninepatch Variation was first published in the January 2004 issue of Ideomancer Speculative Fiction.

The Red Sneaker Zones was first published in the Hiss Quarterly, the “Space to Grow” issue,  Spring 2007.

Chimaera Constant was first published in the October 2008 issue of Farrago’s Wainscot.

Blue (as in an Early Frost) was first published in the the March 2011 Aphelion, Robert Moriyama, stories editor.

Grasshopper Dreams the 5th and final tale of the Libby the Quilter cycle was first published online in the November 2012 Quantum Muse.

The Death of James A. Garfield was first published in A Fly in Amber, July 2008

Klein, the Clone was first published as The Flags of All Nations Hors D’oeuvres Toothpick Caper in the Winter, 2003 Fables—The Home for Folktale and Speculative Fiction on the Internet.

A Special Providence was first published in the May 2003 issue of Quantum Muse, and re-written and re-recorded in February 2013.

The Prophet Harry was first published online and is a conflation of chapters 1 and 5 of of The Return of the Orange Virgin.

Tomcat was first published in the May, 2003 issue of Demensions, Doorways to Science Fiction and Fantasy, edited by Donna Thiel-Cook, and reprinted in a slightly different version in SpecFicWorld’s Featured Fiction for June, 2006, Doyle Eldon Wilmoth Jr. Editor.

A triumph of reverse Darwinism, Facelift arrived after the fact, and was published (belatedly) in the February 2008 Aphelion thanks to the good graces of Robert Moriyama, Aphelion’s short story editor. It was originally written as a website freebie to accompany the Kenn Brown illustration which now adorns the MP3 link for Song of the Rice Barge Coolie. The illustration is copyright Kenn Brown and Mondolithic Studios and used with permission. No unauthorized duplication or distribution without explicit permission from the copyright holder.

“I am already biodegradable,” says Lucy Hobart. He slides to the ground at the base of the post holding his mailbox and settles in for an impromptu nap.

The Artists

The original art for Magnetic Betty is the copyrighted work of Lee Suta and is used with permission. Lee has done scenic work for films, also commercials, Broadway, Off-Broadway, nowhere near Broadway, opera, ballet, display, parades, domestic and hotel interiors. He has painted snow green (Riverside Park New York—Death Wish).

The original photograph for the onetinleg.com logo, “They All Look at Another Side,” is the copyrighted work of María de la Puente Bernardos and is used with permission.

The original photograph for the Lost in Willipaq print version title page, “Tribute—The Perfect Shot,” is copyright Garrit Pieper and is used with permission.

The original painting for the audio gallery and MP3 link of the 5th Libby the Quilter story Grasshopper Dreams is “Nutty About Lemurs,”  copyright Ian D. Seniff and used with permission.

The original painting for the audio gallery and MP3 link of the story The Runaway Bungalow is “Dreamboat,”  copyright David Renn and used with permission.

The original painting for the audio gallery and MP3 link of E Pluribus Human, “Coming to Terms,” is copyright Tina Blondell and used with permission.

The original art for the cover and MP3 link of The Queen’s Head, “Deer Woman,” is the copyrighted work of artist and illustrator Desirée Isphording and used with permission.

The original painting for the cover and MP3 link of The Last Teddy Bear, is the work of the shamanistic and pagan artist Ravenari (Pia Van Ravestein) and used with permission.

The original for the download cover and MP3 link of The Walking Lesson, “Yellow Streak” is the work of Boneface and used with permission.

The original for the download cover and MP3 link of Facelift, “Francie’s Song to the Birds” is the work of sculptor Elizabeth Ostrander and used with permission.

“Streets of Manhattan,” The original photograph for the MP3 link and title page of The Year They Invented Frozen Lemonade is the copyrighted work of the artist Demi Papas and is used with permission.

The original art for the cover and MP3 link of Daphne Longhandle’s Last Flight, “Flower Dragon,” is the work of artist and illustrator Kara Fraser and used with permission.

The original painting for the cover and MP3 link of Chimaera Constant, “Fotoplastikon” is the work of the surrealist artist Andrzej Troc and used with permission.

The original painting for the cover and MP3 link of The Moose in the Noösphere, “Moose” is the work of the artist Lora Bananca and used with permission.

The original painting for the cover and MP3 link of The Ninepatch Variation, “The Tower” is the work of the artist Viki Kennedy and used with permission.

The original photograph for the cover and MP3 link of The Tirewoman Gabriel, “Belen2” is the work of photographer and teacher Martin McRostie-Cornfoot and used with permission.

The original painting for the cover and MP3 link of Scope Virgin, “Zen Crow” is the work of Canadian artist Sara Jane Sparks and used with permission.

The original painting for the M4b audiobook link of The Beewolf, “Sting” is the work of Russian artist Max Sauco and licensed through the Creative Commons.

The original digital painting for the cover and MP3 link of The Prophet Harry, “Night Terror” is the work of artist Nicole Cardiff and used with permission.

The original photograph for the cover and MP3 link of The Chicken Wizard, “Portrait of Henri Groulx, ca. 1920” is the work of Parisian Studio, Québec via Wikimedia Commons and has been reckoned to be in the public domain in both Canada and the United States.

The original photograph for the cover and MP3 link of Sylvie’s Suitcase, “The Eye is the Center” is the work of the late Lauren E. Simonutti (1968-2012), c.2011. She said of her work, “Over (five) years I have spent alone amidst these 8 rooms, 7 mirrors, 6 clocks, 2 minds and 199 panes of glass. And this is what I saw here. This is what I learned. I figure it could go one of two ways - I will either capture my ascension from madness to as much a level of sanity for which one of my composition could hope, or I will leave a document of it all, in the case that I should lose.”

Alexander “Sasha” Spivak is a professional artist who has been living and working in the USA since 1989. His illustration “Actors,” decorates my three Prosper tales as posted on platterland.com, and is from the book Misha’s Nutcracker. “Actors” is the used with permission. Read more about Alexander “Sasha” Spivak at www.spivakart.com

“Two of Swords,” is the cover art for the print edition of Platterland. It is the creation of Anna Wilkenfeld, antipodean artist and banjo player. Anna W’s brilliant, sardonic pen and ink characterizations seize the essence of any situation. When I first feasted eyes on her gallery (adoradora.deviantart.com), I figured there had to be a story in the works. Her “Feathered Hermit” is also the MP3 cover art for “The Red Sneaker Zones.” From her home base of Sydney, NSW, Australia she works “...more or less full time at a cartooning company by day, cobbling together a few works for exhibitions by night, and plying my trade as a party cartoonist on the weekends.”

The cover image for The Return of the Orange Virgin is the work of Spanish artist Benito Gallego and is used with permission. See more of his work on his website.

Consider the cover colophon an allegory. There was this froggy and he went a-courtin’. Miss Mousie said Sure Thing Smooth Talker, and they forthwith copped a co-op to serenade the moon à deux. Or perhaps this is a link to Rain of Frogs, a blog of suspect science and thinly veiled memoir.

Recent onetinleg.com website cover images have been “Sedona, Arizona Junkyard,” the work of west coast digital photographer Chris Dodkin—see more of his work at his website. “Forgotten Places,” the work of Bucharest photographer and architect Vlad Eftenie, was likewise used with permission. See more of Vlad’s work at his website. And a photograph of artist Francis Barraud at work on “Dog looking at and listening to a Phonograph.” Barraud decided to rename the painting “His Master’s Voice” and tried to exhibit it at the Royal Academy but was turned down. He had no more luck trying to offer it for reproduction in magazines. Barraud’s next stop was The Edison Bell Company, a leading manufacturer of cylinder phonographs. “Dogs don’t listen to phonographs,” the company said.

The cover art for Midwife in the Tire Swing (a novel, look for it as an eBook download) is “Strange Revenge,” again by Vlad Eftenie and used with the artist’s permission.

The period photographs of a foggy, noir New York used as headers are mostly from the New York City Municipal archives, WPA Federal Writers' Project collections.

The quote, “Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known,” is the handiwork of Carl Sagan, astronomer (1934-1996). Dr. Sagan is reported to have said: “They laughed at Einstein. They laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.”

Much-deferred thanks to Natasha M. Speer, Ph.D. of the University of Maine at Orono for tutoring the author in the intricacies of the Fourier Transforms as they might apply to the lofting of Saturn-like rings of effluent as demonstrated in the story The Beewolf.

And credit where credit is due: I lifted the idea of posting MP3 downloads of the tales of onetinleg.com from a Jim Kelly column in Asimov’s. James Patrick Kelly is a writer of surpassing skill, and his column On The Net is a must-read.

Music Credits

The author is indebted for the music that ornaments the tales of these pages to Charlie Hunter [McMuckle Makes a Minyan, and The Runaway Bungalow]; Logan, Salmonraptor, Ehma, DJ Fab’s “Echoes from the Past,” DJ Rhode, The Serenata Chamber Musicians and Haeresis [Song of the Rice Barge Coolie and Magnetic Betty (Ehma)]; The Hot Club of San Francisco [A Pass on the Tabouli]; the postclassicists Topology and Topology Music [Klein, the Clone; Facelift; Platterland; McMuckle Makes a Minyan; Daphne Longhandle’s Last Flight; The Year They Invented Frozen Lemonade; The Runaway Bungalow; the symphonic rendition in Magnetic Betty; The Queen’s Head, and Mark Twain in Milan]; Ehma and Celestial Aeon Project’s “Aeon 3” [Mark Twain in Milan]; Logan, Flatlink, Salmonraptor and Haeresis [I Want to Share Your Wheat]; Bilou le Skankerfou, Da Capo, Woodwind and Friends, and Antonio Raffone [Dead Man in the Yard]; Flatlink [Platterland]; Flatlink and Xera [for McMuckle Makes a Minyan];Azurello, Topology and Topology Music, Celestial Aeon Project [The Francher, Daphne Longhandle’s Last Flight]; Suerte and The Serenata Chamber Musicians [The Runaway Bungalow]; La Mula [The Year They Invented Frozen Lemonade]; and Celestial Aeon Project, DOM The Bear, Raphael Badawi, DJ Rhode, Antonio Raffone and Barocco, for Suite Allegro Largo [Chimaera Constant].

Special thanks to Passamaquoddy flutist Rolfe Richter for the signature pieces of the spirit-priest in Chimaera Constant and The Red Sneaker Zones, both re-recorded in 2012. The music is from Mr. Richter’s CD Dreamwalk and used with permission, with additional cues [Allegro Bizzarro and Wind Quintet] from Martin Gross’ album Diamonds in the Rough. Sergio Naddei’s Chamber Music bookends The Tirewoman Gabriel with incidental cues by Da Capo (Claude’s Music) and Eloy Terrero (Interpolar). Terry Snow’s Theme and Variations for Strings bookends The Diplodocus Effect with incidental cues by Topology. Two of Swords boasts bookending by the Gavotte from Ludwig Thuille’s Piano Sextet in B-flat major (the On Classical compilation), the incidental music is by Topology, Matt Samolis Vortex Ensemble, esgi’s “War and Power” from the Echoes in Time CD, and from Butterfly Tea’s “Magical Adventures” album, all licensed under a Creative Commons license. The Moose in the Noösphere features cuts from Nakie Nightfire, Lena Selyanina’s Piano Paintings, Tryad and Juice Connection. The Dolby Jenks theme (Magnetic Betty) is “Lords of the Sky” from Celestial Aeon Project’s “Aeon 3.”

More Music (and sound design) Credits

Thanks to the jolly consortium of audio wranglers at The Freesound Project for helping build the sound clusters for Mark Twain in Milan, The Beewolf, A Special Providence, Saint Velcro TM and the Swan, the blue spark and the werewolf’s howl in Boys’ Night Out. Likewise Haeresis for the signature theme of Lady Ada Lovelace’s cat in the Mark Twain tale.

A Special Providence, re-written and re-recorded in 2013, boasts the contributions of Kneel Mason—(Scenes from) The Mid Lands; a choir of adrenelin angels from ERH at Sinu Spiral Music, wet traffic and cascading coins courtesy Robinhood76; download licensing by Audio Jungle for “Comic Umpah” by Sonority, and “Cilantro” from Torley on Piano. For The Beewolf, Juice Connection [As Last Year’s Snow, original soundtrack—Brane Driving]; Weightless’sFilmusik” (Märchenwald, also incidental music for “The Last Teddy Bear”); SpeedsoundPsytrance Products Vol.01; esgi [Echoes in Time]There Is No End. The Last Teddy Bear, in addition to Märchenwald, uses cuts by Olivier Gabriel Humbert (Le Phare), Antonio Gervasoni’s The Portrait of Dorian Gray, and “Footsteps” and “An Empty Stage” from Lena Selyanina’s Piano Paintings.

Cherokee Purple, re-recorded in 2012, is a ramble inspired by the author’s days in the Carolina border country, with music from Dance Of The Wind, the “Piano In The Street” album, Soporifics (Sagamore Hill) and Topology; Norma’s tractor is a Ford 4000 diesel by CMU Sound Design. Blue (as in an Early Frost) uses music drops by Armolithae, Topology, Zero-project’s “Fairytale” album (Moon Waltz), Butterfly Tea’s “The HEAVENz BUTTERFLIEz” album, Weightless, their “Filmmusik”  album, and  Terry Snow’s “Theme and Variations for Strings.” The Prophet Harry: Butterfly Tea (A Simple Life),  Bilou le Skankerfou (La valse du oni), Da Capo’s Claude’s Music album (Invention #1.), Zeropage’s “Ambiphonic”, and MasqueradE from Celestial Aeon Project’s “Aeon 3.” The music cues for The Death of James A. Garfield include Cesar Swing (Jeremie); Limpy Waltz and Sunday in Hell from Juice Connection’s “As Last Year’s Snow;” Butterfly Tea (A Cat’s Life from “The HEAVENz BUTTERFLIEz”); “Germinal Picture” by Germinal Noise; and Jampy’s album “Nghzk!

The Queen’s Head, produced in October 2010, features the music of Quentin Meurisse (Cairo Zen), MDT Music’s Orchestral Film Music Collection, Topology and Topology Music, Soporifics (Sagamore Hill), Dykzei Eleeot (the album Koridor), Fature (Electric Sheep), Wordless Poem (she is stone, but dances, slowly, in the dark), Ensemble Hathor (the album Music in the  Age of the Pyramids), and Antonio Gervasoni (The Portrait of Dorian Gray). Grasshopper Dreams, The 5th tale of the Libby the Quilter quintet, is bookended by “Emma—Alternate Take” by Christof Spanring; the internal music cues are from Pharmacopia’s “study no 02 for virtual piano,” Topology, Bo Moonlight’sTungsten Filament,” and from the album Quelques impressions de Monsieur Claude, “Bruyres.”  Saint Velcro TM and the Swan, produced in December 2011, is bookended by the Vortex Ensemble and Nuremberg Tin Soldierss “La touche finale” with incidental music by Space Galaxy (jeu d’eau dans le matin). Goli’sCreation Tango” plays out The Walking Lesson, with the introductory cues from Aufklarung’s Mechanical Compulsion and LizZarDino’s Psychedelic Diary.

Boys Night Out, re-recorded in 2012, with a new narration (minus the head cold) and music cues, added pieces by Blues for Spacegirl (Violet currents, saffron winds), the Vortex Ensemble, Aufklarung (Contra-punctus quasi tonale), Opus Vertigo (Behind the murderer), Pedro Amoros (Conspirando), and Bo Moonlight, all licensed through the Creative Commons. ‘Fur Klarinette und Klavier’ from Amadeus bookends The Ninepatch Variation, re-recorded in 2012, with incidental music cues likewise by Amadeus. The Illuminati (The Illuminati Owe Carl .57), produced in 2013, is bookended by Renald de Matrexasse’s ‘Quatre Janvier’ from the album “Ephemerides, janvier.” Sylvester and Beany, produced in 2013, is bookended by Nagisa.f’s ‘Ou-hito Chaser’ from the album of the same title. Sylvie’s Suitcase (2015) has music cues from Albert B’s film music—‘Ordino’ to wit; plus four by Aufklarung: The Soldier Comes to Life, Contra-punctus Quasi Tonale, V, and VI—all licensed under the Creative Commons, with ‘Ou-hito Chaser’ by Nagisa.f to decorate one of the chapter ellipses.

Lastly, a grateful nod to Bill McVicar and WQDY 92.7 FM in Calais, Maine (USA) and Chris Gay at Sound Expressions, Lake Utopia, New Brunswick (Canada) for making their audio facilities available.

Podcasting

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The Rob Hunter bio

Rob Hunter

With the onset of late middle age, Rob Hunter is the sole support of a large orange cat and the despair of his young wife. He does dishes, mows the lawn and keeps their Downeast Maine cottage spotless by moving as little as possible. In a former life ¹ he was a newspaper copy boy, railroad telegraph operator, recording engineer and film editor. He spent the 70s and 80s as a Top-40 disc jockey.

Rob won a plaque once, for production excellence, from the Maine Association of Broadcasters. The boss kept it. One of Rob’s engineering projects ² won Senator William Proxmire’s (D-Wisconsin) Golden Fleece Award. 100 Years of Air Power was an Air Force recruiting multimedia presentation shot in Panavision with 70mm slides, quad stereo, the works. It toured in a trailer that sat four.

The nearest town to the Hunters that anybody is likely to have ever heard of—because of Stephen King’s The Langoliers—is Bangor, Maine where there are real parking meters and a traffic light. They drive down every six months or so to watch the light change and see the trains come in. Rob’s wife, Bonnie, is the secretary at a nearby rural elementary school. She is a gifted quilter who beguiled her new husband with the kaleidoscope of patchwork geometry. They live on America’s northeastern border with the Canadian Maritime Provinces. Please note that the border is on the southwest if you are in Canada. This is important if you are not a swimmer.

¹ The Milwaukee Journal; Chicago, Milwaukee, St. Paul and Pacific RR Co.; WINS-NYC; WBT-Charlotte; WJAR-Providence; WNDE-Indianapolis; WIVY-Jacksonville; WNEW-NYC; WBAI-Pacifica; WQDY-Calais, Maine.

² Rob’s long-time client at Random House Audiobooks, Sherry Huber, once wangled her team a Spoken Arts Grammy nomination. We didn’t win. The nomination was for The Short Stories of Ray Bradbury.

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